The poll for boy names

So I am having a hard time deciding on a name for baby boy.  I'd like to get beyond calling him baby or boy or your son (you know stuff like that).  My biggest problem is that nothing is clicking for me.  With Emma it was a name I instantly loved.  When I was pregnant with her it felt so right to name her that.  Les told me that when he picked the name Samantha for our second child that it felt right.  I felt it too.  So that is the obsticle I am up against right now.  The names don't sound wrong but at the same time they don't feel right either.  That isn't to say that one of them couldn't become right if I actualy started to using it. I don't want to use them until I decide which one it will be.  As it is with all the names we have talked about Emma is already confused because she hears one name and thinks that it is the one her brother will have and the next thing she knows the name has changed.  So the poll has a bunch of names that Les likes (some of which I like too) and a few more that I like more than Les does.  This is only a portion of the names we are actually looking at.  So please help us!  You can pick more than one that you like.  The ones that are picked the least will be off the list as possible name choices.  Thank you for your help.

Just getting a few things off my chest

If you are against contention I am sorry if this post is too much for you.  This is just me pouring out my thoughts and feelings istead of burying them deep inside where they can destroy me.  If you have a problem with that then please stop reading now.  If you choose to never return then by all means please leave.  I will never force anyone to listen to me. 
Yesterday I put a post on facebook that said, "What am I to do? I think she is really too young for this kind of behavior. I caught Khloe admiring herself in her spoon at breakfast this morning. Les also caught her admiring herself in the bathroom mirror instead of going potty. Her pants were still down around her ankles. It is funny but at the same time a little concerning because she is only 3."  Now as for the reason I put his up is because I do find it slightly funny.  Khloe doesn't like to do light hearted things with me so it is rare that she lets me see this side of her.  In fact, I have snuck around and watched my children interact with each other so that I can see and appreciate Khloe's rare fun and care free moments.  Literally, as soon as she sees me she stops whatever she has been doing and sits down.  The only explaination I have for this comes from a lot of observation (but hey I could still be WAY off base) and it is that I have had to push her into doing all the things she can currently do. 
When she came to live with us she knew 6 words and a handful of baby signs.  I was told that I would need to learn sign language to communicate with her.  I quickly learned that this is NOT true.  Khloe is a whole lot smarter than people give her credit for.  As soon as I learned that she was picking up on words I started to require that she use them.  You could make the argument that I did it for some sick gratification.  If you believe that then you have never experienced this kind of thing.  It was the hardest (physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually) thing I have ever been put through.  I am pretty sure I know more about how hard it was on Khloe than anyone else.  To sit by knowing full well what this young child wants and not do it all for her is pure h*ll.  To pretend you are blind and deaf to the things they want until they use the words they know and have been leanring to use is hard.  Did I just do it to be mean?  No I didn't.  Would I have done it knowing that it would forever taint the way my child looks at me?  That is a harder one.  Life would certainly be a lot different than it is now.  I'm sure Khloe wouldn't give me those looks of disdain and at some points absolute hatred had I just done everything for her like she wanted.  However, I feel that had I done that she would not be speaking as well as she is.  I do not think she would be as independant as she is.  In those ways life would be a lot harder.  Khloe didn't want to learn to dress herself - thus I would probably still be getting her dressed everyday.  Khloe didn't want to potty train (and I didn't push because believe it or not I do know better than to do that) - thus I could still be changing her diapers.  Those things and many more were the reason I put off having another child.  Between Khloe and Samantha I had enough "babies" than I could deal with.  So I shoved my own desires away so I could help this child that had been neglected by her own parents succeed in life.
Is it so bad that I want Khloe to do well and learn rather than be the "victim" for the rest of her life?  It really irritates me went people try to put her back into the role of a victim.  Why would you do that to her?  Yes it is true her parents were horrible parents.  Yes it is true that they did not give her the love and attention a baby needs.  Yes it is true she was ripped away from the only home environment she had ever known and then passed from home to home.  If you think that I am blind to the hurt she has suffered then you know nothing.  If you think that I am blind to the love and support she needs then again I say you know NOTHING.  Instead of focusing on all she has been through and feeling sorry for herself I want her to look at all she has gained and build upon the foundation we have provided for her.  I am sure there are those of you who think that participation trophies are the most wonderful things ever invented.  I don't want my children to grow up thinking that all they have to do is show up and that is all there is to life.  I want them to work hard and actually achieve something.  Why are we telling our children that being mediocre is the goal they should set for their lives?  Why aren't we helping them to strive to be the best they can be.  Who cares if they don't come in first if they have given all they have to give.  I want my kids to succeed because they try their best rather than because someone doesn't want to hurt their feelings.  Les and I took the Love and Logic classes and learned a few things.  One of the most important things I took away from that class is that we should be allowing our kids to try and fail at things now when the stakes are still low.  It is too late for them to learn these same lessons when the stakes are much higher.  Let's face it.  The stakes get higher the older we get.  One of the examples we talked about in these Love and Logic classes was on the value of money.  If we allow them to earn money and then allow them to spend it on a cheap toy that breaks soon after buying it then the child learns early on to save their money and only spend it on things of quality.  It also teaches them to work for what they get.  After all money does not grow on trees. Wouldn't that be better than waiting until they are much older and spend their money unwisely?  Maybe an older child has always been given money rather than earning it.  Say this same child has always spent that money on what ever they wanted.  Say this child or maybe young adult buys a car and because they don't know the value of money, or how much work it took to get it, that they are reckless in this brand new car.  They are not going to be upset about a ruined vehicle because all they have to do is go back to their parents to get money to buy another one.  Let's take it up another level.  What if the money they got came from a bank?  Aren't the stakes involved in this situation more than you are willing to risk?  Wouldn't you want your child to learn this lesson well before it got this big?
So I know I went off on a tangent but it was to show you how I think.  I would rather have my children learn those hard lessons now rather than later when I will be less able to help them.  Now is the time.  So it is with everything I do with Khloe.  If she could she would still have me do everything for her.  As Les has said, "Call it lazy, call it smart, call it whatever you want but it isn't going to help her succeed in life."  I want her to learn to me independent.  I want her to learn to have confidence in herself (in the first 6 months in our home she made up a year's worth of language) and her abilities.  If I don't let her try she will never learn.
So what does this have to do with a facebook post.  A certain person took what I said as fault finding.  Apparently this person who only sees us when we can make it to their home thinks that they know more about the things going on in our home than we do.  I have a LOT of negative things I could say about this person but I won't because that would just be petty and cause problems for Les.  I will say that before they say anymore negative things about me or the situation our family goes through on a daily basis that they should get to know the situation better.  I was not finding fault.  I was looking for something funny.  Yes it still concerns me a bit.  Then again I'm only going to have 3 teenage girls under my roof for 8 years straight.  More if in the future I do have another baby and it is a girl.  Who wouldn't be terrified by this?  It just makes the future a little less exciting when you know that they are developing teenage like characteristics at such a young age.  So I am sorry if that offends you.  I'm just letting you know that the future scares me a little.  I will never show my very vulnerable side again.  Heaven forbid that you should be offended by my feelings.  Right now my plan is to leave posting on facebook to Les.  Since my life revolves around the raising my children that is all I post about.  So in order to refain from offending anyone with how horrible I am that is the only option I see at this point.  I'm sure that my absence will be noticed on facebook well before anyone will get on here to read this post.  I am pretty sure I am the only one who gets on here.  So it will most likely going to be my little secret.  Sorry for rambling on and on.

New Year 2011

So New Years hasn't been this exciting all important holiday for me.  Ever.  During my single years I did enjoy going to the New Years Eve dance every year.  However, it was more about being with great people rather than ushering in the New Year.  Call me a party pooper; I just don't care.  Les asked me on New Years Eve this year what I did on New Years Eve before he came along.  I was honest.  I told him other than the dances during the single years that I would watch the news at 10 to celebrate the New Year coming to our country and then sometime before midnight I would go to sleep.  I rarely stayed up to usher in the New Year in my own time zone.  I think my answer surprised him.  At the same time he looked a little relieved.  He even told me, "So I guess marrying me didn't change that for you huh?"  Honestly no.  Les is very similar in that respect to me.  Since having kids I have found that it was more important to get the sleep while I could than feel like I had barely gone to sleep when my kids come bounding into our room so they can have breakfast.  Believe me if I could have kept them up late enough to make a difference I still wouldn't do it.  I enjoy my sleep and I feel a whole lot better about myself and the world in general when I get up earlier.  For my kids this is vital.  I am very sure that they would rather me be well rested and happy than tired and get mad over every little thing they do.  Yeah, so that is the reason.  I do it all for my kids. ;) 
After talking to Les about the lack of celebrating New Years in my life I had a terrible thought.  What am I going to do now that I am on the East Coast?  The only way to continue celebrating New Years when I comes to our country now that I live on the edge is to actually stay up until Midnight!  Oh the unfairness of it all.  So this year I gave it my best try.  After getting the kids in bed I sat on the couch to watch Les play a video game.  I knew the only way to keep Les awake until midnight was to let him do something that would absorb his attention so much that the passage of time would surprise him.  However, my tired brain needed more than that.  I was soon asleep.  I didn't sleep because I remember waking up a few times and asking Les what time it was.  Then I finally woke up to the sound of fireworks and knew that the New Year had come at last.  I wished Les a happy New Year and then quickly faded off to sleep.  I still woke up from time to time to see Les playing away.  At some point (I have no idea what time it was) Les lost his game and took me to bed.  The best part was we didn't have church until 1 so sleeping in was an option.  Sort of.  The kids woke up at their usual time.  I felt like I was dragging the whole day.  In fact, we barely managed to get ready for church in time dispite all the extra time.  By the time Sacrament Meeting ended I had a massive headache.  To make that so much more attractive I also started my new calling which is in the Nursery!  Yea for me and my head.  Oh boy did I ever pray that I would make it through the day!  My prayer was anwered and my headache went away.  However, it came back with a vengence after we got home.  I know! I forgot to pray that it would stay away.  Here is a lesson to be learned: being specific when praying is very important.  Make sure you include every contingency.  Before we left church we had heard that the Bishop had gone home early due to pain from a ruptured disc in his spine.  Emma was very upset.  She had me put her hair up in piggy tails and was hoping to get some remark from the Bishop (who calls her Bacon and she is a self proclaimed PIG).  Les told her it would be a very nice thing to bring something to the Bishop's house to aid him in getting better.  It was settled that we would take over a plate of cookies the girls and I had decorated the day before.  By the time we did this I had been lying down and felt much better.  So we all went thinking it would be a quick drop off and go type thing incase the headache came back.  Instead, we were hurded into the house and we talked with the family for over an hour.  By the time we left the Bishop didn't look good and needed to lie down.  I too was quickly fading and needed to get back into a horizontal postion. 
So how is that for a New Years Day.  Anyone with a better story?  Anyone with a worse day? 
Oh almost forgot.  I don't remember much about setting New Years Resolutions when I was younger.  As I got older I set a few.  Between failing at my own and hearing of many others who had failed as well I simply stopped setting resolutions.  I figured that I could change myself anytime of the year I had a strong enough desire to do so.  I didn't need to wait for the New Year.  Well for the first time in a long time I felt the strong feelings of change at the New Year. So I set a few New Year's Resolutions.  First off, I am getting myself back on track with doing FHE.  This last week I sat down and planned out 12 lessons.  I will continue planning them out for as long as I can.  I found that trying to come up with a lesson each week was my down fall.  So now that the lessons are planned I can almost garantee that I will do at least 11 more FHE nights.  That's right I have successfully done my first FHE of the year already.  I am counting on Les helping me to get through as well.  He is much better at making sure things get done.  I am also counting on his help with each lesson.  He has this amazing ability to explain concepts in a way others will understand.  I am hoping that he will help me convey the message of each lesson in a way that our children will readily understand. 
My second resolution is to say my personal prayers morning AND night.  I have failed at doing this for quite some time.  Before Christmas I was saying one of the two prayers and I noticed a big difference in the way that I approached life.  I was calmer.  I was more collected while dealing with the fighting and pouting that my kids do each day.  It was a great feeling!  So as I set out to say my prayers both morning and night I have great hope that I can be a better mother, wife, and member of the human family.  I have been successful everyday of this year so far.  Les has been very helpful in making sure I haven't forgotten my prayer each night as we get into bed.  The mornings have been easier since I haven't set a specific time by which to do it.  If I don't get out of bed and immediately pray I usually get it done while my kids are taking turns using the bathroom.  I find quite moments in which to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  Oh I also noticed that my prayers have become deeper and more meaningful.  I have been able to express myself fully to my Father in Heaven for the first time in a LONG time. 
So that is it for my resolutions.  I can't set too many at a time because I can quickly get overwhelmed and fail at all of them.  I have a plan to make these goals into a habit and then work on adding more things to it.  I feel that is the only way for me to accomplish any of my goals for this year.
May the New Year bring great things for all of us.

Christmas 2011

 A few years ago back when Emma was our only child Les and I started a tradition in our family of opening one gift on Christmas Eve.  However, it isn't just any gift.  We have given our children pajamas every year as their Christmas Eve gift.  There is just something wonderful about getting something new that you get to wear all night and have it on when Christmas morning arrives. 
I don't remember doing this when I was a child and had heard of others doing it when I was in high school. Up until now it has only been something we do for the kids.  As you can see from the pictures to the left the kids loved their pajamas.  This year with my expanding waistline and lack of any maternity clothing from previous years I was in serious need of some pjs.

 Although I knew Les would be fine without getting some as well I could hear voices (who shall not be named) in my head that would inevitably comment about how insensitive it was of me to exclude him or the general unfairness of it all.  Yes there are people in my life who can't help themselves from sticking their nose in where it does not belong.  So to save myself from tears (pregnant emotions what they are) I decided to avoid this whole problem by buying Les a set of pjs too.

 So that folk is how our Christmas Eve started.  Of course, that night we also did a family chat with my parents and siblings on google+.  In the middle those who were at my parent's house ate Christmas Eve dinner together.  After they ate was to be the reading of the Christmas story.  I must not have been paying attention well enough because when I noticed that they were back online I got on and had missed the story. 
So Les and I gathered our children and read the story to them and sang Christmas songs.  Then we were quick to get them into bed so "Santa" could get to work and still make it to bed early as to make it up in time to get ready for our early Christmas sacrament meeting.  By the way if you ask our kids who santa is they will tell you it is Daddy.  We are trying to get them away from belief in a old fat man in a suit so they can focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

Oh almost forgot!  As part of our focus on Christ for Christmas the girls asked if we could make a cake for "Jesus' Birthday."  Les and I thought it was a great idea.  Later on when I was talking with Emma about the cake I asked her what she thought Jesus would like to have the cake decorated like.  She told me that since it was winter the ckae should be white like snow and have snowflakes falling into it from the sky.  This definitely took some thought to be able to do.  To the left is the picture that shows the results.  I divided my cake mix into two cakes.  Mostly because with my waistline rapidly expanding I didn't feel that I needed the help making it go faster.  So by making two smaller cakes we would be helping me out and we would be able to share with another family.  Our girls choose to give our second cake to the Bishop's family.  So on Christmas Eve we drove over and left the cake with family members who were there visiting.  The Bishop and his family were out caroling when we got there.  Later when they returned home they called to thank us for it and said they would be speaking to us about it at church in the morning.  Turns out they were going to save the cake until we could share it with them.  I tried to protest since we had our own cake still to eat but my objections were over ruled.  So to take my revenge I brought along our cake when we went to their house and left it for them to eat.
Christmas morning shone bright and clear.  This made for one upset girl.  Emma had expected snow to be on the ground when we got up.  White Christmas' are very important to her.  We had to get ready for church right away.  I took a little extra time to make sure everything looked great since we would be getting up in front of the congregation to sing.  The song could have gone better but we recieved so many compliments on how well the girls did that it doesn't matter that everything seemed to go wrong.  Then we headed home with three little girls getting very impatient to open their gifts.

 When we got home I gave them the option of changing back into their new pjs or opening presents in their Christmas dresses.  They choose (I am sure since it would get them to their presents sooner) to stay in their dresses.  So I didn't get a picture of them in the pjs, sorry.  Pictured above are the girls in their dresses and Sammi with her stocking.

 Here are Emma and Khloe going through their stockings.  Behind each girl is actually the first present they got of the day.  They got large pillows in their colors and disney characters on them.

We opened presents from grandparents first.  Here are Emma and Samantha in the hat and scarf their Grandma Mounteer made for them.  It is hard to tell by the picture but Sammi's is purple.

Here is Khloe with her hat and scarf fro Grandma Mounteer.  The other picture is her blue bubble bath from Grandma and Grandpa Perkins. 

 Here are Sammi and Emma showing off the purple and pink bubble bath they got from Grandma and Grandpa Perkins. 

The first pic is of Emma with the gift that Les' Grandma Cheney sent.  Each girl got a set for their hair that had princesses.  I put up only one pic because I learned while looking at the pictures to put on that this is the only one with a girl being lady like in her dress.  The next pic is the gift from Les and I.  Emma got Cinderella with her horse.

 Here is Khloe with Snow White and horse and Samantha with Belle and her horse.

Here are the girls with the group gift we got them.  They got a bunch of wooden puzzles with disney characters (yes including the princesses) on them.

 This is a gift Les spontaniously bought a few days before Christmas.  It is a cotton candy machine.  The reason he bought it is because you can use a few pieces of any hard candy to make the cotton candy.  It doesn't require the special sugar.  So that was the big family present we got this year.  I almost forgot to mention we got a package from Les' sister after Christmas for the girls.  They got a playdough set.  Not only is there playdough but it comes with an ice cream parlor to make ice cream and toppings out of the playdough.  The kids loved it.

 Les took over the camera for this one.  It is the present he and the girls got for me.  It is the Nook.  I love to read.  Les was tempted to get me an Ipad but I told him I have a computer so I don't need an Ipad.  What I love about the Nook is that I can buy ebooks for it.  Ebooks are much cheaper than other books.  I will probably still buy the actual books that I love.  Les put a lot of the classic books on here for me.  Since the copyright on them is expired there are websites that have scanned them in and have them for free.  Since Christmas I have read "The Three Musketeers," "The Scarlet Letter," and have started on "Great Expectations."  I LOVE my present.  Oh not pictured was my gift from my parents.  They sent me a necklace, 3 bracelets (matching the necklace), and 3 sets of earrings (also matching the necklace).  I can wear the first items.  The thrid will have to wait until it get my ears repierced.  I stopped wearing earrings with young kids around.  I had been comtemplating on getting my ears pierced again so the earrings might help me get it done sooner rather than later.

Les didn't want any presents.  However, I love Christmas and cannot in good conscience let him go without a present on Christmas day.  So to make him feel better about the gifts he got I tried to go practical.  I got him a couple pairs of pants for work since he has so few that qualify as business casual.  The girls got him a lunch bag with a water bottle.  Oh I forgot he got himself (yes this is not only allowed apparently but it is the only way he is good about getting gifts) a chinese movie and Kung Fu Panda 2.  Oh but I did make sure his stocking had plenty of candy in it.  Oh and he got a nice pair of leather gloves from my parents. 

Another post for New Years will be done when ever I get up the time and energy to do it.  As it is this post was worked on and off for two days.  We will see if I get it done.  Of course, I didn't take any pictures so I might not take a long.  Hope you all enjoyed your Christmas.