Setting decisions in stone

Next weekend Les, the girls', and I will be setting off on a very long trip across country.  Until then we will be working night and day trying to figure out what we will be able to fit into the Yukon.  The rest will be loaded up and put into a storage unit until we decide if the kids and I are going to come back or Les will join us and go for a PhD at USU. 
I will be living temporarily with my brother Daniel and his family.  Tomorrow I call to see if my OB in Logan will take me on through the rest of this pregnancy (what little there is left of it).  I will also be calling the girls' doctor to set up well child checks for Emma and Samantha.  I can't remember if Sammi will need shots but I know for sure that Emma will need to get shots for Kindergarten.  I have worried over traveling to Logan from Stansbury Park each week.  I have already put myself through the stress of finding a new doctor that I will feel comfortable with and I don't really want to go through that with only 4 weeks to go.  I'd just rather go with someone that knows me and that I trust.  Also the added benefit of seeing if the girls' doctor will take on the new baby has made this decision much easier.  That way I don't have to find two doctors for this one event.  Knowing that this would put a large amount of stress on my sister-in-law to be in charge of not just her own children but mine as well I have asked to see who would be willing to watch the kids for me.  For sure our wonderful neighbor Kayla has enthusiastically said she will watch them.  So not only will they be with me (for my comfort as well as theirs) but they will get to see friends they thought they wouldn't see in person ever again.  That and while we are out and about we can stop in to see family that have come to mean so much to me and my children (i.e Les' Aunt and Uncle in Kaysville).  From infancy Les and I have taught our children to tolerate traveling.  As a result they travel very well.  All I have to do is make sure there are snacks and something for them to drink and they are as happy as can be.
As things come together for us the more sure I am that things will work out well.  Maybe not entirely happily but well enough for all of us.  I have been worried about how well Les will be while I'm not here to make sure he is taking care of himself.  In the last few days there have been a few options for a place for him to stay while he continues to work here.  Things are coming together letting us know that Heavenly Father is there and He is taking care of us.  It is nice to know that as we take leaps of faith He blesses us.
In the next few days I will need to post pictures of the girls' joint birthday party.  It went really well.  The kids were so excited to have friends from church come and spend time with them.  The cake turned out well if I do say so myself.  So look for that to come.

A little update on a stressful situation

So for my last post I felt that I should get a few things off my chest.  At the time I just thought I was being inspired by Heavenly Father to help me let go of some emotion.   Believe me when I say I did just that.  However, there may have been more to it than that.  The very next day my sister-in-law Jana called me up and let me talk it through.  Then she told me that they had thought they got rid of all of their son's old clothing but had found a box that slipped through the cracks at her parents house.  Can you guess what size they are?  They just happen to be 0-6 month clothing.  I cried when she told me.  I knew then that while it was good for me to get the emotion out it was also inspiration to get help.  Thank you Jana for helping Heavenly Father answer prayer.
As for the rest of the stress . . .  well let's just say it has thrown me up and down through a whole lot of emotion.  Les and I have been all over the state as well as into Virginia looking over possible places to rent.  Most of the ones we really liked that were in our price range either didn't feel right (when we prayed about them) or didn't have anything coming open within the time frame we were looking at.  I know I have cried over this situation but what really gets to me is the look of stress this burden has given Les.  He blames himself for not being able to properly care for our family.  He forgets the main reason we looked into buying when we came here was because a mortagage is cheaper than rent is.  So now that Heavenly Father has told us we need to rent at this time rather than buy he should know that it isn't because he is a poor provider that we are in this situation. 
Today we made a decision that we are acting upon.  On one of his days off Les is going to get help moving our stuff to a storage unit.  Then he will take time off of work and drive the girls and I to Utah for an unknown length of time just to fly back to go to work.  At this time we are unsure where he will be living.  It makes me cry just thinking about being separated from him.  I want him there by my side when I go through labor to bring our son into this world.  I want him there with us as we adjust to the day to day things of having a new baby in the family.  I don't want him miss a day with us or his son.  While I felt right about this arrangement I am having a hard time with it despite that.  Like we have heard before, "I didn't say it would be easy but it will be worth it."  The only comfort I find in this is that my kids will not have to live in a hotel or (thankfully) out of a car until something else comes along.  That knowledge is the only thing keeping me going right now.  I still have to figure out what I am going to do about a new OB.  I'm not sure my kids will be able to be covered by Medicaid while we are in Utah (which frightens me). 
So that is the update of where we are.  Not pretty but hopefully for the best.  I will do what I can to hold my precious family together.  They mean more to me than my own life.  May God watch over us and keep us safe.  May we be able to follow the path He is trying to lead us down.