Mother's Day 2014

Sometimes life doesn't seem to be going your way.  Today started out that way.  However, now that the day is coming to a close I can say it was perfect.  I wouldn't want it any other way.
Jacob has a cold that has been making it hard for him to sleep.  Therefore, I don't get much sleep either.  Last night was one of those nights.  It was long with frequent interruptions to sleep.  Morning came and I got up and made us breakfast while Les came home from work and fell asleep instantly.  Breakfast was so good.  We had German pancakes with strawberries and cool whip on top (yes I am keeping to a low sugar diet).  The kids saw me making eggs and decided before I had even whisked the eggs together that breakfast was going to be yucky.  They all tried it and at least one of the kids finished a whole portion.  Another one at all that I gave her but would only allow half of one on her plate.  The other girl ate the toppings and then refused to eat anymore. 
Then it was time to get ready for church.  They all got into beautiful dresses while I called to talk to my mom.  I was given enough time to shower and get myself ready.  As soon as I was done the girls were going a little stir crazy so they went to Emma's room and held a "rememberance" party for our cat Midnight (I'll talk about Midnight at the end).  After they headed off Jacob came to me crying so I pulled him onto my lap.  He laid down as best as he could in my lap and within minutes was off to dreamland.  This never happens.  Ever.  So now I'm thinking this illness is really doing a number on him.  A short while later the girls come back to me telling me they are sick and they think they should stay home from church.  the bad mom I am thinks, "I don't want to stay home and be their entertainment all day.  Especially on Mother's Day!"  Emma must have been able to read my expression because she quickly changes her mind about staying home.  She tells me, "I want to go to church mom."  I tell her I can't let her go because if she is sick I can't let her spread it to all the other kids.  She so sweetly replies, "I promise not to get anyone sick."  If only it could be that easy.  So I tell the kids that if they are staying home to go change out of their dresses.  They argue with me for sometime about how they now will go to church anyway so I can go.  I finally tell them to keep themselves busy and I will think about what to do.  I finally decide that I will take at least Emma to church so she can give her Article of Faith in Primary and then we can go home.  I tell the girls this plan and all of them want to go.  Right before I go Santiago comes home early from church (he told me he would be so if I needed someone to watch sick kids he would be here) and then Jacob wakes up.  Let's just say that by the time I make it out the door church has started.  The girls were really quite good in Sacrament.  Then I take them to Primary.  Emma sits up front while we wait for it to start.  As I am looking around I remember that the music leader had asked me some questions for a surprise for the kids on Mother's Day.  I thought it would be a shame if they missed it.  So I sat and thought and thought.  The only one who had any signs of sickness was Samantha.  She had been sick but by this point she hasn't had a fever in more than 24 hours.  In theory, she shouldn't be contagious anymore.  After Emma finishes reading her Article of Faith I ask the girls how they feel.  Emma and Khloe say they are fine and I haven't observed them coughing or having snot run out of their noses.  So I send them to sit with their classes.  Sammi on the other hand says she is still feeling sick.  However, she keeps asking me about what she can eat for lunch when we get home and when are we going home to have lunch.  I think to myself this girl must not be too sick if she is hungry.  I decide to sit and watch music time to see my kids reaction when one of the mystery moms is me.  Just before they do the questions for me Sammi decides she wants to go to class.  I send her to sit with her class and then watch as Emma's eyes get larger and larger as the clues about me are given.  I thought it was quite fun.I got to sit in Relief Society and listen to the lesson with all the other women in the ward.
We went home and I warmed up lasagna for lunch.  Then Emma and Santiago (with a little help from the other two girls) made a sugar free cake for dessert.  I made dinner and Les even got up and spent some time with us for an hour or two before he had to head off to work.  Then it was dessert time and I was rather surprised at how good the cake turned out. 
The kids are in bed (even Jacob but I am afraid at how short lived that will turn out to be) and I am about ready to head to my own.  I will try to remember to get on tomorrow to tell the sad tell of the cat named Midnight.

Just keep going

To update:  I have another doctor and I took the glucose test again.  I failed.  A week later I took the three hour glucose test.  I got the results a few days ago.   I passed but just barely.  I do not have gestational diabetes.  I do have a sluggish metabolism.  I have been ordered to stay away from sugar for the time being.  For any of you who knows my husband that is easier said than done.  I have been experiment with ways to consume food without all the sugar or things that break down into those same sugars.  That may be the hardest part.  Almost everything has one sort of carbohydrates or another.  I am relatively safe with proteins and fats.  However, meats aren't all that big on my list when pregnant.  Don't get me started on fats.  I thought I would be safe with vegetables.  Apparently not.  They have substantially less but they still have them.  I can eat three servings of vegetables to every one serving of fruits, dairy, or grains.  The grains are the hardest to stay away from.  Breads, pasta, crackers etc. are some of my main foods while pregnant.  They are simple, fast, and filling.   I have struggled with this and it has only been a few days.   I am trying to learn to substitute crackers and breads as a snack with nuts.  I love nuts but I can see that I could easily overdo it and come to hate the sight of them. 
So that is life for me for now.  I just have to keep telling myself that I will do anything to keep this baby happy and healthy for the next two months.  I know two months is nothing when it comes to the big picture.  Even in pregnancy two months is nothing.  Except for the last two months.  Every pregnancy I've had the last two months seem to drag.  When I got the results and realized I had to slightly modify my eating habits for the next two months I wanted to cry.  Wanted to cry because two months seems like forever away and cry with relief that I do not yet have to do this for the rest of my life.  More incentive to up my exercising (as if I needed more) routine when this baby is here.  Okay, as soon as I can after the baby is here.
I have always been able to feel empathy for situations others have been in.  Here is Heavenly Father giving me one more chance to improve upon it some more.  I know we are each given trials for a reason.  I just pray that I will learn my lesson before this situation becomes something more.

Is life conspiring against me?

I'm not sure where to start.  I just know I need to get things out before I explode.  Since I am pregnant that would not be my preferred result.   Let me see if I can get this all down without it being a rambling mess. 
1 - I thought life would be easier with one dog.  In some ways it is.  We go through less food and there is less number two to clean up in the yard.  Also, the kids have been better about making sure that they give the dog attention.  However, the other dogs helped in the entertainment department a whole lot better.  Within the first week of our becoming a one dog family we learned something rather disturbing about our dog.  She is a klepto.  She will grab onto something and haul it off outside to chew it to death.  How did we find out?  That is a rather interesting story.  We had some friends over for dinner.  Afterward we cleared the table to play games.  At one point the baby woke up and our friend started looking around to find a pacifier.  She couldn't find it.  We helped her look but it was still missing in action.  So rather than delaying for a little while the baby demanded to be fed.  When the feeding was over again the mother was looking around but this time for the burp cloth.  We all looked but could not find it.  So she used the blanket instead.  Then she laid the baby out on the blanket on the table so she could watch over and play with her while we played a game.  At one point she noticed that the baby started to slide off the table.  Our dog had taken hold of the blanket and pulled.  I got her to let go and I ushered her to the dog door.  As I was trying to lock the dog door I noticed a fabric like object on the deck.  I stepped outside and there on the deck was the burp cloth.  I took it in, gave it back, turned on our yard light and headed back our to see if the binky was out there.  I still haven't found it but I did find her nursing cover.  So I have literally become a babysitter to our dog.  If she isn't outside, locked in her kennel, or with someone else I basically have to watch over her to keep her in line.  It is exhausting.  It has helped to have the dog door taken out so she can't just escape into the yard with anything.
2 - March is our big month for birthdays.  Three of our four (and soon to be five) kids have birthdays this month.  Les and I sat down over a month ago and determined which weekend would work best for us to have our annual combined birthday party.  The date was set and the theme determined.  Knowing that our finances are on the tight side I decide I was going to hand make as much of the party stuff as I could.  I immediately went to work making the invitations.  I had to work out a few kinks like how do I print it off so that the inside looks the way it should (you know not upside down).  I made photo frames for each guest to have a picture of them taken with a birthday girl.  Oh and saying that reminds me that I forgot to say that we decided to have two parties.  One friend party where they got to invite four friends each and then a family party.  After all the family drama (that put on more stress for sure) maybe we can stick with just a friends party next year.  On top of all that I planned the menus for both parties and prepared as much of it as I could.  The friend party consisted of games, watching a strawberry shortcake movie, and a tea party with finger sandwiches, fruit, and cherry 7- up.  Oh and let's not forget cupcakes!   The family party was supposed to be simpler.  More fruit, salads, and everything else that goes with BBQ.  I learned how to make Italian Sponge cake to make Strawberry Shortcake. 
3 - I got the flu.  On Sunday my back and bum were starting to hurt.  I had a hard time sitting through church.  Shortly after starting dinner I felt really off.  I leaned over to Les and told him I was either going to throw up or pass out.  He ordered me to lay down.  Within a hour I had full body chills.  That is when I knew I was in trouble.  The body aches got worse.  They were to the point that I was uncomfortable no matter what position I was in.  Les set up a bed for me in front of our fireplace.  All night I moved and moved and moved some more.  I hurt so bad that by 3 in the morning I gave up trying to sleep.  I just tried to endure the night.  I still had to get up in the morning and take Sammi to school.  I was so tired and I hurt so much.  I'm sure my family cringed everyone they had to cross my path.  Finally, Les was able to take over and I soaked in a hot tub.  Oh it felt wonderful to have most of the pain melt away even if temporarily.  The pain was relieved enough that the Tylenol was finally able to do something.  After the soak I laid in bed willing myself to sleep.  If only it had worked.   At that point I was too tired to sleep.  So that instead I tried to rest.  Rest my body, rest my mind, rest my eyes. It would have worked better if not for all the people calling about scouting concerns.  I felt much better by the time I got out of bed.  Tired but not as hurt.  I made it through the day and collapsed into my bed that night.  Sleep finally came.  It wasn't the best quality sleep but it was better than nothing.  Here is to a speedy recovery.
4 - This is the straw that broke the camel's back.  Last week I failed my initial glucose test.  I went in this morning to start the three hour test.  Everything seemed to be going well. I hurried in to have my blood drawn and drink more of the drink an hour later.  They told me I was too late.  Apparently, their clock and my clock are off by ten minutes.  I was told I would have to come back another day and start from scratch.  I had been under so much stress that I walked out of there vowing I would not come back to do the test.  I called Les and cried like a baby.  I told him what had happened and that I wasn't going to do the test at all.  He tried calling the Dr and left messages.  The Dr ended up calling me and told me either I do the test or I find another Dr.  How compassionate!  So now Les and I are comptemplating getting a new doctor.  I think had he been the least bit concerned about my feelings as opposed to his concern over his feeling I might have been persuaded to go back for the test and keep him as a Dr.   For now there is no way on earth I could be persuaded to go back to him.  Les and I are going to find a new Dr for me and the little guy inside.  I feel so bad for my baby.  With everything that has been going on I have put him through too much.  He has been affected by all the stress I've felt.  He has been affected by the flu I have.  I say enough is enough.  I'm not going to do it anymore.
I must say I feel a lot better after getting that off my chest.

We are having another baby!

Although we were quite happy with the size of our family my husband and I decided that we should have one more baby.  We wanted someone a little closer in age to our youngest child and only son.  I knew as of the first week of October that I was pregnant.  But mid month I was struggling with morning sickness, the all day kind.  We kept quite about the pregnancy for a while. My husband thought I just wanted to get past the part of pregnancy in which most miscarriages happen before we told anyone.  For me it was for a very different reason, or rather reasons.  First, knowing that this was going to be my last pregnancy I wanted to hold it close to my heart and keep it just for me.   Second, to keep it close and special I didn't want to hear the negative comments that come when announcing a pregnancy.  I particularly dislike, "Another one?  Are you trying to repopulate to world all on your own?"  I know plenty of people who have families bigger that ours.  At the moment we have 4 children.  In a few months time our fifth child will join us. 
During Thanksgiving we sort of announced the pregnancy.  I say sort of because we didn't get up in front of everyone and make a big production out of it.  Instead, it was more of a thing where pictures are being taken and one of my sisters comes over to show me a picture she just took.  As she shows it to me she asks, "So when were you going to tell us?" I look down at the picture and it is a close up of my belly.  Sheepishly, I reply with, "Right now apparently."
Shortly after Thanksgiving, we go visit my husband's grandmothers to tell them.  Later on in December that turned out to be very important when one of his grandmothers suddenly died.  We were grateful we took the time to go see her and share our joy with her. 
Last month I anticipated the ability to feel my little one moving and kicking inside me.  Toward the beginning of the month I thought I felt movement but wasn't sure because as the weeks passed it was not repeated.  I began to fear the worst.  I prayed to feel movement.  It didn't help things when I noticed that my appetite had decreased significantly.  I waited day after day for either a sign of life or a sign of a life cut too short.  With all the stress and such my husband was going through at the time I stupidly chose not to tell him my concerns.  A few days before my next appointment I got to the point where I couldn't handle the stress on my own anymore so I finally told him.  He soothed my soul.  Sharing my concerns lifted the burden I had put on my own shoulders.  Reaching out to him gave me the relief of knowing the grief I was feeling wasn't mine alone.  When we went to the appointment to our relief the baby was moving so much the doctor was having a hard time keeping the heart beat long enough to get the beats per minute counted.  Finally he did and the baby have a nice healthy 160 BPM heart beat.  It was so nice to see evidence of my baby healthy and alive.  After the appointment I was set up for an appointment to get an ultrasound.
That is what I did today. I saw my baby!  All fingers and toes have been counted and body parts measured.  The baby is measuring at 23 weeks and one day which moved my due date from June 16th to June 11th.  To find out the gender you will just have to come back next time.