Just getting a few things off my chest

If you are against contention I am sorry if this post is too much for you.  This is just me pouring out my thoughts and feelings istead of burying them deep inside where they can destroy me.  If you have a problem with that then please stop reading now.  If you choose to never return then by all means please leave.  I will never force anyone to listen to me. 
Yesterday I put a post on facebook that said, "What am I to do? I think she is really too young for this kind of behavior. I caught Khloe admiring herself in her spoon at breakfast this morning. Les also caught her admiring herself in the bathroom mirror instead of going potty. Her pants were still down around her ankles. It is funny but at the same time a little concerning because she is only 3."  Now as for the reason I put his up is because I do find it slightly funny.  Khloe doesn't like to do light hearted things with me so it is rare that she lets me see this side of her.  In fact, I have snuck around and watched my children interact with each other so that I can see and appreciate Khloe's rare fun and care free moments.  Literally, as soon as she sees me she stops whatever she has been doing and sits down.  The only explaination I have for this comes from a lot of observation (but hey I could still be WAY off base) and it is that I have had to push her into doing all the things she can currently do. 
When she came to live with us she knew 6 words and a handful of baby signs.  I was told that I would need to learn sign language to communicate with her.  I quickly learned that this is NOT true.  Khloe is a whole lot smarter than people give her credit for.  As soon as I learned that she was picking up on words I started to require that she use them.  You could make the argument that I did it for some sick gratification.  If you believe that then you have never experienced this kind of thing.  It was the hardest (physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually) thing I have ever been put through.  I am pretty sure I know more about how hard it was on Khloe than anyone else.  To sit by knowing full well what this young child wants and not do it all for her is pure h*ll.  To pretend you are blind and deaf to the things they want until they use the words they know and have been leanring to use is hard.  Did I just do it to be mean?  No I didn't.  Would I have done it knowing that it would forever taint the way my child looks at me?  That is a harder one.  Life would certainly be a lot different than it is now.  I'm sure Khloe wouldn't give me those looks of disdain and at some points absolute hatred had I just done everything for her like she wanted.  However, I feel that had I done that she would not be speaking as well as she is.  I do not think she would be as independant as she is.  In those ways life would be a lot harder.  Khloe didn't want to learn to dress herself - thus I would probably still be getting her dressed everyday.  Khloe didn't want to potty train (and I didn't push because believe it or not I do know better than to do that) - thus I could still be changing her diapers.  Those things and many more were the reason I put off having another child.  Between Khloe and Samantha I had enough "babies" than I could deal with.  So I shoved my own desires away so I could help this child that had been neglected by her own parents succeed in life.
Is it so bad that I want Khloe to do well and learn rather than be the "victim" for the rest of her life?  It really irritates me went people try to put her back into the role of a victim.  Why would you do that to her?  Yes it is true her parents were horrible parents.  Yes it is true that they did not give her the love and attention a baby needs.  Yes it is true she was ripped away from the only home environment she had ever known and then passed from home to home.  If you think that I am blind to the hurt she has suffered then you know nothing.  If you think that I am blind to the love and support she needs then again I say you know NOTHING.  Instead of focusing on all she has been through and feeling sorry for herself I want her to look at all she has gained and build upon the foundation we have provided for her.  I am sure there are those of you who think that participation trophies are the most wonderful things ever invented.  I don't want my children to grow up thinking that all they have to do is show up and that is all there is to life.  I want them to work hard and actually achieve something.  Why are we telling our children that being mediocre is the goal they should set for their lives?  Why aren't we helping them to strive to be the best they can be.  Who cares if they don't come in first if they have given all they have to give.  I want my kids to succeed because they try their best rather than because someone doesn't want to hurt their feelings.  Les and I took the Love and Logic classes and learned a few things.  One of the most important things I took away from that class is that we should be allowing our kids to try and fail at things now when the stakes are still low.  It is too late for them to learn these same lessons when the stakes are much higher.  Let's face it.  The stakes get higher the older we get.  One of the examples we talked about in these Love and Logic classes was on the value of money.  If we allow them to earn money and then allow them to spend it on a cheap toy that breaks soon after buying it then the child learns early on to save their money and only spend it on things of quality.  It also teaches them to work for what they get.  After all money does not grow on trees. Wouldn't that be better than waiting until they are much older and spend their money unwisely?  Maybe an older child has always been given money rather than earning it.  Say this same child has always spent that money on what ever they wanted.  Say this child or maybe young adult buys a car and because they don't know the value of money, or how much work it took to get it, that they are reckless in this brand new car.  They are not going to be upset about a ruined vehicle because all they have to do is go back to their parents to get money to buy another one.  Let's take it up another level.  What if the money they got came from a bank?  Aren't the stakes involved in this situation more than you are willing to risk?  Wouldn't you want your child to learn this lesson well before it got this big?
So I know I went off on a tangent but it was to show you how I think.  I would rather have my children learn those hard lessons now rather than later when I will be less able to help them.  Now is the time.  So it is with everything I do with Khloe.  If she could she would still have me do everything for her.  As Les has said, "Call it lazy, call it smart, call it whatever you want but it isn't going to help her succeed in life."  I want her to learn to me independent.  I want her to learn to have confidence in herself (in the first 6 months in our home she made up a year's worth of language) and her abilities.  If I don't let her try she will never learn.
So what does this have to do with a facebook post.  A certain person took what I said as fault finding.  Apparently this person who only sees us when we can make it to their home thinks that they know more about the things going on in our home than we do.  I have a LOT of negative things I could say about this person but I won't because that would just be petty and cause problems for Les.  I will say that before they say anymore negative things about me or the situation our family goes through on a daily basis that they should get to know the situation better.  I was not finding fault.  I was looking for something funny.  Yes it still concerns me a bit.  Then again I'm only going to have 3 teenage girls under my roof for 8 years straight.  More if in the future I do have another baby and it is a girl.  Who wouldn't be terrified by this?  It just makes the future a little less exciting when you know that they are developing teenage like characteristics at such a young age.  So I am sorry if that offends you.  I'm just letting you know that the future scares me a little.  I will never show my very vulnerable side again.  Heaven forbid that you should be offended by my feelings.  Right now my plan is to leave posting on facebook to Les.  Since my life revolves around the raising my children that is all I post about.  So in order to refain from offending anyone with how horrible I am that is the only option I see at this point.  I'm sure that my absence will be noticed on facebook well before anyone will get on here to read this post.  I am pretty sure I am the only one who gets on here.  So it will most likely going to be my little secret.  Sorry for rambling on and on.