The power of touch

Yeah, I know it sounds a little odd, but really, is there a power in touch? As a teen one of the only things on the mind is that first kiss, the holding of hands, an embrace. As a parent, the hugs and kisses of your children and grand children are so precious to you. And the Bear hugs from little ones are priceless.

But, what about with younger children? I know when child is crying or upset they love to have their mommy or daddy hold them close; To kiss their ow wees or boo boos and tell them it's all going to be better. An infant and newborn love to be snuggled. Remember the times when your little child woke up in the night and just wouldn't calm down? All you would do is hold them in your arms and rock with them. Sing them a lullaby and let them know they were safe.

There was an experiment done many years ago to evaluate whether love was really needed for survival in mammals. They took two chimps, one was raised with a metal structure that had a bottle for food, and the other was covered with fur and kept warm to simulate mother also with milk. The chimp that had what simulated mother lived quite well, there were some problems with not being able to interact with 'mother', but he grew up healthy. The other chimp with only a cold metal case holding a bottle got ill and eventually died. There are arguments about whether the simulated mother was really a factor or if some underlying reason prevails. But I wonder.

Friday morning, as Celia says (the one from golden girls, not grandma) Picture it! It was a Friday morning in Logan Utah. Mother was running around frantically as she needed to get her newborn to the ER. The newborn, at least while she was breathing, was screaming her head off and full of fear. Mother grabbed the baby and cuddled her close. Minutes passed and she was as calm as spring morning on a beautiful San Diego beach. Hours later in the ER at Logan Regional the newborn was being poked and prodded more so than a pin cushion. Enter dad. He picked up newborn and held her close to her chest, reassured her that everything would be alright, she calmed and allowed the medical staff to finish their tests.

The newborn showed signs of improvement and mom and dad were hopeful, but that night she was kept more isolated for treatments. Saturday morning newborn was put through more and more tests. Mom and Dad weren't able to hold her and comfort her through all of them, but when they did she calmed down as if nothing were wrong. Saturday night being prepared for a Life Flight that could mean the difference between life and death for her, daddy held her for nearly an hour as the medical crew prepared her for her long journey. Every time he set her down, she began to shiver and cry with fear.

What do you do when you can no longer hold your own flesh and blood within your arms? Sammi has been in an incubator or respirator status since Saturday night. Melanie hasn't been able to hold her baby for four days! She sees other mothers who's babies are improving hold them, snuggle with them and tell them that it's all going to be better now. But not for Melanie. She looks at Sammi with love in her eyes and pain in her soul as Sammi tries to cry and tries to move, but all she can do is whisper to her that it's o.k. Mommy and Daddy are here, and stroke her head. Sammi has too many tubes and wires in her to even hold her hand.

We keep saying that stable is better than nothing, which it is, but to see your child grow up without you there to hold their hand, snuggle with them, to kiss them better or truly reassure them that everything IS going to be alright, is a very painful experience. I wonder if in her half drugged state she truly realizes that we are here for her. We can't leave her, something inside us won't let us. We're here to let her know that at anytime when she wakes and is in pain that mommy and daddy are here for her, to stroke her head, give fathers and priesthood blessings, and let her know that: Everything IS going to be Alright!